Because I need to get up tomorrow, and I only slept 4 terrible hours last night, yet somehow I'm ridiculously wound up, I'm basically going to try to sum up all the ridiculous things that happened to me today in a series of pros(+) and cons(-):
+ Amber(My best friend, big sister, roommate, and other half) and I got up at 6 AM so we could have a delicious farewell breakfast together at Jack and Benny's. We even brought along the first issue of "The Adventures of Super Nathan and Abstinence Boy," that we had uncovered last night.
- We tried reading said comic and could barely focus on it, none the less each other.
+ Went to the BMV, before leaving this morning, to have my license renewed, dressed-as-much-like-a-pirate-as-possible and holding the Super Nathan comic.
- The lady behind the counter(who obviously hates her job), yells at me, because I accidentally wrote on a document that I wasn't suppose to.
+ We then proceed to argue about whether or not the color of my eyes are green, brown, or hazel. We eventually agree that the color of my eyes are hazel(I personally think they're green). Then I proceed to take a hilariously terrible photo.
+ On the way out decide to get gas at the Speedway by my old campaign office in the Hilltop.
- I can't remember where it is, and decide against giving the lady with the gas can money, just in case she tries to bludgeon and rob me. I still feel bad though, because she looked pretty desperate as I drove away.
+ Excitedly saw signs for Eden Park, the Creationists' museum, while entering Cincinnati.
- Followed said signs into Cincinnati, only to have them randomly disappear when the interstate spilt into 3 different roads.
+ Luckily, managed to bypass most of Cinci.
- Random dude started yelling at either me or the girl on the corner. I couldn't tell which one of us he was angry at.
+ Used the FM Modulator, that Denny gave me for my iPod, and played my "Beginning-a-road-trip-with-Amber," anthem. Otherwise known as "Map of Tasmania," by Amanda Palmer.
- Discovered that Boob Duck makes a terrible weight, and that watching your iPod go flying off the dashboard is painful.
+ Someone asked why I was wearing a giant necklace with lots of little plastic femurs. Proceeded to "dazzle" them by telling that, "...I realized that I'd probably look terrible in my photo, so I dressed as ridiculously as possible. Also I want to spread swashbucklery..."
- Had to take the necklace off, because my seat belt was pressing down on it.
+ Made friends with the ladies at Wendy's in London, Kentucky.
- I despise Wendy's.
+ Man recognized the specific pattern of my Jolly Roger bandanna. Apparently, there's a group of people that wear the exact same bandanna in Oklahoma. Obviously, I somehow got it from Oklahoma, according to him.
- I still have no idea what group wears them(I hope it's a biker gang). Also, realized that I'm paranoid, because the whole time I had that conversation with that guy, I was bracing myself to having to beat him with my tray if he tried grab me.
+ At some point saw a billboard that had a cute baby on it.
- The billboard said, "Abortion is the ULTIMATE form of child abuse."
- I then had a debate with myself whether the people would find that billboard was right if the "aborter" is a poor, black, 12 year old girl who became pregnant because she had sex on purpose her. Or if it's child abuse to make her go through the pregnancy.
+ The South has a 70 mph speed limit.
- Apparently, going 85 mph is too slow, and therefore it's OK to tailgate people.
+ There are random crosses along I-75 in Tennessee...
- ...and they're so fucking HUGE. Yet somehow, they've been positioned so that you don't see it until you're driving by it. I found myself shrinking down into my seat as far as possible. THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU!
+ It got up to 90 degrees today.
- Every time I turned off the A/C the heat seeped, almost immediately, into my car.
+ Made it to the outskirts of Atlanta, Georgia.
- Mom made a hotel reservation in Dalton and gave me the information when I was already at least 20 miles away.
+ Took a break and played around in a Target and a random pet store.
- I had to drive back 70 miles to Dalton. Then could not find the Hampton Inn because, there were no street signs driving west, but they were there coming east. This caused me to drive down a road, arguing on the phone with my mom, in the middle of nowhere, while trying to safely steer my car down a winding, steep hill, in pitch black darkness, with a dude in a pick up truck driving behind me. There were no street signs, just signs that looked suspiciously like a street sign and said,"Trail Here!" Drove into what appeared to be a flat gravelly area to get off the road and turned around. The drive back to civilization was just as stressfully nerve-wracking and terrible.
+ Eventually found the Hampton Inn and took a must needed shower.
+ Discovered the fried chicken chain, Bojangles'.
+ Managed to learn all the words to almost all of my favorite Tenacious D and the Pick of Destiny songs. They've become my "encouragement songs."
+ Managed to listen to half of the CDs I burned or was given on Friday.
+/- I may punch a hole in the ceiling of my car if I keep "dancing" like Lemy in White Limo.
Honestly, I can't wait for tomorrow. I'm over halfway there, and I can't wait to have deal with stuff like this:
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| Even dealing with the leopard who smacked me around last time. |
Thank god all I have to do is get through Georgia and part of Florida...
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